mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
North Korea, Best Korea!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
