drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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