You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
