So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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