Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she looked like the before picture.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
