Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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