The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
