Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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