haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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