I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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