your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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