Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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