I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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