I puked a lego.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
