just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
