My nipple is on Facebook.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
