you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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