Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize