Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
