It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
