2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
