Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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