chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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