He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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