she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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