i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
