Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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