If i come over, it means nothing
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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