don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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