well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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