Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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