I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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