don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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