I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
