i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I am morally bankrupt
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's never too late to be topless.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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