Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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