I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
