he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
