Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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