There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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