I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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