im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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