I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just had sex on a roof
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
