So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
