How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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