But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
