We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
