Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
