He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize