guys are only as good as the porn they watch
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
