Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
