This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
