My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
honey bunches of taint.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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