I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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