Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
