Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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