we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
