so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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