We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
