Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
