you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
